HANNIBAL'S: COUNCIL CURRY
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FARMING 2030 - 2050 - The backbone of any society is the production of food to feed a hungry population, though in the future imported comestibles will all but dry up, as will migration, it being too dangerous to roam in herds to pastures new. Food will be mostly home grown in vegetable allotments and back yards. Fishing may provide some respite and variety, though carcinogenic from plastic abuse, even with exhausted fisheries, small catches may be possible. Agriculture in some areas may survive even with drained soil from artificial fertilizers. Food security was high on the United Nations agenda via the Food and Agriculture Organization, but they were unable to cope, and also began to recognize humans as livestock, until they were disbanded and cannibalized. We look back fondly on farming as it was in yesteryear, before the climate criminals spoiled planet earth.
When food shortages reach critical condition, you need look no further for donors that your local council offices. For they will no longer have jobs and be relatively useless (even more so) and more of a liability, than they were before. But, they will be well fed, so fattened nicely to give extra flavour and satisfaction, at knowing that the fossil fools who taxed you mercilessly and bombarded you with rules and regulation to build their part, will finally pay the price and give something back.
Cannibalism has almost disappeared, but could make a return as civilization breaks down because of water and food shortages. At that stage, neighbours might be viewed as livestock. Those not well thought of, or unable to defend themselves are sure to be eaten first. But it is the politicians who failed us, who are most likely to be devoured preferentially. So ridding the starving masses of the cause of their plight - and reducing the population at the same time.
A council meeting takes on a whole new meaning when you are starving, and parliament would be more an auction akin to a farmer's market. These venues herd potential future meals conveniently for those dying of malnutrition.
Apparently, human flesh tastes like pork and veal, according to accounts of the pies being sold in London, by Margery Lovett and Sweeney Todd, the demon barber of Fleet Street. So you could be in for a treat. See Hannibal's Cook Book.
*Under no circumstances should the brain of an animal be eaten. It could cause a disease similar to mad cow, when you'd end up thinking and acting like the suggested ingredients - but only when there are no longer operational supermarkets or other famine relief.
HAPPY MUNCHING - I hope you like my recipe Clarice. It is perfect for a special picnic or a summer lunch and an easy pastry for those with 'hot hands'. Start these pies the day before; they need to set overnight or for a good few hours before eating with friends.
Titus Andronicus’s Human Pie
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