HANNIBAL'S: PORK & VEAL PIES

IF WE LOOK AT HUMANS AS LIVESTOCK, THERE IS NO MEAT SHORTAGE, ONLY VEGETABLES AND WATER

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Food is essential for life for all animals on earth. The problem being that we now need more food for our growing population from less farm land, as desertification worsens, and fish become a rarity. This will lead to shortages sooner than anticipated, as our fossil fools - our world leaders, ramp up the burning of coal and oil, despite it being a criminal offence to take or cause lives to be taken, either directly or indirectly.

DIRE STRAIGHTS

When all the chickens, cattle, lambs and pigs have been eaten, and there is scant grain or grass to feed or fatten livestock, you may like to think on what humans tend to resort to when there is no other food source for survival. History has shown us that when no other food is available, we eat each other, as many other animals do. We are not unusual.

Cannibalism has almost disappeared, but could make a return as civilization breaks down because of water and food shortages. At that stage, neighbours might be viewed as livestock. Those not well thought of, or unable to defend themselves are sure to be eaten first. But it is the politicians who failed us, who are most likely to be devoured preferentially. So ridding the starving masses of the cause of their plight - and reducing the population at the same time.

A council meeting takes on a whole new meaning when you are starving, and parliament would be more an auction akin to a farmer's market. These venues herd potential future meals conveniently for those dying of malnutrition.

Apparently, human flesh tastes like pork and veal, according to accounts of the pies being sold in London, by Margery Lovett and Sweeney Todd, the demon barber of Fleet Street. So you could be in for a treat.

HANNIBAL'S TASTY MEAT PIES

Hannibal Lecter was a cannibal who ate people for many reasons, mostly if they were rude or inept. He is of course a fictional character in the celebrated film masterpiece: The Silence of the Lambs. He is held to be skillful in culinary preparations involving unusual meats. But as human flesh is similar in texture and taste like pork, the recipes for more pies, burgers, stews or roasts should serve as examples of how to feed a family when starvation bites. See Hannibal's Cook Book.

*Under no circumstances should the brain of an animal be eaten. It could cause a disease similar to mad cow.

INGREDIENTS

For the filling

800g leg (calf or thigh), minced or finely chopped
400g belly, half minced and half chopped
250g smoked cured and salted back, cubed
½ tsp ground mace
2 large pinches ground nutmeg
1 tbsp fresh chopped sage
1 tsp fresh chopped thyme
½ tsp salt
1 tsp ground white pepper

For the pastry

575g plain flour
200g lard
220ml water

To finish

1 egg, beaten
6 gelatine leaves
300ml chicken stock

METHOD

STEP 1

Heat the oven to 180C/160C fan/gas 4. In a large bowl mix together all the ingredients for the meat filling.

STEP 2

To make the pastry, put the flour in a large bowl, then put the lard and water into a small pan and heat gently until the lard melts. Bring just to the boil and then stir into the flour using a wooden spoon. When the mixture is cool enough to handle, (it should still feel very warm) knead well until smooth.

STEP 3

Cut off 1/4 of the dough, wrap in cling film and reserve for the lid. Roll out the remaining dough to a circle and then place in the base of a non-stick 20cm springform cake tin. Working quickly while the dough is warm and pliable, press the dough evenly over the base and up the sides of the tin. Make sure there are no holes. Fill with the meat mixture and pack down well. Roll out the dough for the lid. Place on top of the pie. Pinch all around the edge to seal the pie. Make a hole for steam in the centre, using the handle of a wooden spoon.

STEP 4

Cook in the oven for 30 mins then reduce the heat to 160C/140C fan/gas 3 and cook for 90 minutes. Brush the top with beaten egg and return to the oven for a further 20 mins. Leave until cold.

STEP 5

Soak the gelatine in cold water for about 5 mins, then remove and squeeze out the excess water. Heat the stock until almost boiling. Remove from the heat and stir in the gelatine. Leave to cool to room temperature.

STEP 6

Use a small funnel to pour the stock into the meat pie through the hole in the top. Pour in a little at a time allowing a few seconds before each addition. Place in the fridge to set overnight.

 

 

HAPPY MUNCHING - I hope you like my recipe Clarice. It is perfect for a special picnic or a summer lunch and an easy pastry for those with 'hot hands'. Start these pies the day before; they need to set overnight or for a good few hours before eating with friends. 

 

 

 

 

Titus Andronicus’s Human Pie

“Why, there they are both, baked in that pie;
Whereof their mother daintily hath fed,
Eating the flesh that she herself hath bred.”

William Shakespeare (1564-1616), ‘Titus Andronicus’ Act V Scene III

A number of stories in Greek mythology involve cannibalism, in particular cannibalism of close family members, for example the stories of Thyestes, Tereus and especially Cronus, who was Saturn in the Roman pantheon. The story of Tantalus also parallels this. These mythologies inspired Shakespeare’s cannibalism scene in Titus Andronicus.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LINKS & REFERENCE

 

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